going off the deep end
September 10, 2002 12:03 a.m.
She's sinking down.Hands above her, held her,
Nineteen years and now they're letting go
Tommorrow will be round
And everyone will see no tragedy
It's like it's over,
But it's just begun.
She's going off the deep end,
Breaking from the crowd.
She's way in over her head,
I think she's gonna drown.
She's going off the deep end,
The search is over now.
She's falling into your hands,
It's all or nothing.
There's no question
She's been lost and found.
I've gone off many-a-time. But I never trust enough to stay there. I'd rather paddle around in the kiddie pool and never take the risk. The hands have held me, but are they supportive or restrictive? Am I going to drown? Maybe. But I think I'm still lost.
For the first time in my life, I've taken the time to really learn about my diagnosis which first came over a year ago. I don't like what I'm learning. I don't want to remain uneducated about it, but every new detail scares me more. I don't to remain one of those people who give in to the statistics. But I don't want to have to pump myself full of drugs to overcome it. I don't want to give into the feeling of helplessness that comes with medication. I want to beat it myself. But I don't think I can.
Is that the disease speaking or me?
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