such a jagged little pill... isn't it angie?
October 02, 2002 12:54 a.m.
"Lying beside you, here in the darkFeeling your heart beat next to mine"
The music brings back so many memories of you. That early autumn trip to the shore. Days of strawberry-blonde hair dye, Alanis Morisette, Mariah Carey, and the summer before sixth grade. September in a new school, a new type of living, a new revelation that I never wanted to hear. Understanding for the first time what it meant. Letting you pull your bed next to mine and whisper secrets during the midnight hours. Promising never to tell... and hating myself for the promises.
Seventh grade, our last year in the old middle school. Mr. Faust's homeroom, crappy lockers, even worse school pictures, up and down staircases, English teachers who refused to care, Mr. Pervert the gym teacher, and a million other memories. Growing apart and not even realizing it. Watching you hurt yourself and not knowing how to care.
Fast Forward to grade 8... the solution, the lack of resolution. The tears I ached to cry for you. The hatred I felt for what he did to you. The hatred I felt at myself for not being able to stop him. The hatred at your mother for not seeing. The pity for your mother for not knowing what kind of monster she had married. The confusion and anger I felt at God. I felt like I was losing something. I realize, all too late, it was a best friend.
rewind - fast forward
