I want to be a Kiwi!
August 14, 2002 2:00 p.m.
I have a twisted, perverted desire to drive around town blasting Indigo Girls, Ani DiFranco, and Dar Williams as loud as possible. Being in this pathetic little town drives me to the very end of my already limited rope!How on earth has it survived this long without changing at all? Nature abhors stasis. If it isn't changing, it isn't living. I almost think I'd like to play "American Taliban" too, but I think some of the rednecks might just shoot my tires out.
I make an extraodinary effort lately just to remain impartial. To not let my judgements be moved by my emotions (which are more volatile than ever), and to listen objectively to whatever evidence is presented. But lately I want to wash my hands of my nation, pack up, and move to New Zealand. "Why New Zealand?" you ask. Because I like rain. And they get plenty. Also, the population is less than 1% of America's. In fact, there are four times more sheep than people! I like sheep! They also have glaciers on the south island, so I could get my skiing fix. Frankly, I'd want to live in Wellington. Auckland is wonderful, but too big of a city for my tastes. Rotorua might be nice though, they have wonderful hot springs there. Last time I was there they were planning on opening them as a tourist attraction again.
Maybe in few years, I'll be sitting in a nice steaming hot spring tub, eating myself sick of kiwis, and figuring out new ways to tell people I don't like vegemite. Hmmm... I can only imagine how fast I'd pick up the accent.
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