who are you and what are you doing in my brain?
July 08, 2002 1:32 a.m.
It feels so odd to me. To be home. Like I don't belong here anymore. I went to Annie's house last night to watch the fireworks and felt out of the loop. I hardly know her anymore, let alone her friends. Has going away changed me that much? Or was I that different to begin with.Afterwards, Stef and I went to Walmart for some trivial little things. As we stood there, me on my cellphone, she talking to her friends, it was as if I could read their minds. Who was this fat chick? What the hell was she wearing? What the hell was with the haircut? And why the hell was Stef hanging out with her. I felt my normal self-consciousness and insecurity rear its ugly head. I wanted to melt into the floor under their glaring view. But I also wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. "I am KAREN MARIE COOK! I'm wearing my pajamas with boxer shorts under them just cuz i felt like it! The hair... well, I just felt like going short! And Stef is hanging out with me becuase she knows ME, and is not as shallow as you dumb fucks! I'm a hell-of-a-lot smarter, friendlier, less judgemental, and more polite than you! I could probably break your cheerleader ass in half. And I could one-up-you in almost anything you tried. Espescially anything including intellect! So stop staring at me like I'm part of a freak show and go bother someone who cares!"
But I didn't say a word, just wandered off to the coffee isle to buy some Straight-up-Latte for my mom.
rewind
- fast
forward
