holding me back
June 10, 2002 4:33 a.m.
so maybe I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe, I've learned less than I thought. But being home again makes me feel like I'm five years old again. I tmakes me feel like I have no voice. It regresses me to a point of total submission. My best friend told me I shrivel up inside when I'm here and that I'm a better friend when I'm away than I am when I'm home. That hurt. But it a way, I suppose it's true. I give in too easily when I'm home. I'm too afraid to make waves. I'm too afraid that I'll step out of line, or disappoint, or disregard, or just not live up to my parents pedestel of me. The ones who tell me to grow up and move on... they're the ones holding me back sometimes.rewind - fast forward
